The Club's Results
RTT Regatta, May Term 2003
A Single Sculling regatta open to any of Tom's friends, held over 500m from the 2nd post upstream of Ditton to the top Colquhouns finish.
Fri 18th April
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JPD in his single scull, Open 1x
Lost to Alex Summers by 1 length
Beat Emily Eadington easily
Note to self: single strokes in tail wind need more work.
Beat Mark Suret by 1 length
AGRS
Beat JPD
Beat Darcy
Beat RTT before falling in
On to the blade swapping... Luckily I was allowed to switch from my Empacher to Muddy Waters. Unlike some people with their detailed strategies, in my case prior planning was notable only for its absence, save for the fortunate precaution of removing my socks and hat.
After an initial false start when I forgot to undo one of my gates, I had managed to slowly slide my bowside blade round to the strokeside gate, which had been opened ready for the blade's arrival-or so I thought. Unfortunately, the strokeside scull, which I had removed from the gate and was gripping tight against the rigger, was holding the gate against the backstay, leaving no way of getting the bowside blade into it short of lying down.
With both hands more than occupied and under pressure from Darcy's swift success, I foolishly heeded Dubya's advice from the bank to try to edge my hand gradually towards the gate. Things soon took a turn for the worse and as I hadn't fallen in from a single for 6 years, despite recent swimming practice at Ely, an undignified scramble for the bank was soon to ensue...
JWE, Open 1x
Beat Suret (2 lengths)
Lost to Rose (2 lengths)
DJH in his single scull, Open 1x
Lost to RTT (2 lengths)
Lost to Suret (Clare)
SAT, Open 1x
Beat the Peckster (2 lengths)
I was very surprised therefore to pull away from him off the start and maintain my lead. This was in no way a reflection of my sculling technique though. By halfway through the 400m sprint the lactate had built up, though unfortunately this was in my arms and not my legs.
Note to self (in JPD stylee) - Learn to scull properly.
Lost to Darcy (narrowly avoiding the easily verdict)
JPD in his single scull, Blade Swapping
Fell In
MCP in his single scull, Open 1x
Lost to SAT (2 lengths)
However, a very shaky start allowed my adversary to move comfortably ahead within my first half-dozen strokes, providing conclusive proof that either
a) I am a girl or
b) SAT's 'sculling' experience was rather more extensive than mine
Lost to Emily Eadington (out of sight)
I enjoyed my "race", although once "safely" across the line was saddened to find that there was no sign of Emily at all so comfortable was her win.
The crushing defeats to the fairer sex were greeted by frenzied excitement on the bank and even inspired mr earl to submit an instant announcement of my achievements worldwide via the internet. My meagre total of just 3 sculling outings in the last five years appeared to do little to deflate the glee with which my "supporters" mocked my efforts.
However, the moral victory over the innumerable landlubbers (even including a recent Granta colour) who declined to join me risking life and limb is unquestionably mine.
RTT, Open 1x
Beat Holland by 2 lengths
Beat Dubya by 3 lengths
Lost to Summers by 1.25 lengths
The Rules
1. That this be a side by side regatta in single sculls.
2. That the course be 500m from the second post upstream of Ditton Corner to the first winning post of the Colquhoun sculls.
3. That this race take place annually on my birthday (18th April), or the nearest public holiday.
4. That anyone who is my friend be qualified to compete.
5. That entries be free of charge.
6. That the appointment of umpires, presentation of prizes and the resolution of all disputes be at the sole discretion of RTT.
7a. That the draw be made by me on the afternoon of the regatta.
7b. That the first round draw be entirely biased towards amusing combinations of competitors.
7c. That the second and subsequent rounds be selected randomly.
7d. That the order of races be determined by me.
8. That two boats only start in one race, each boat to abide by its own accidents.
9. That in the event of a dead heat the course be re-rowed immediately in the opposite direction.
10a. That in the event of a competitor falling in, a pint of bitter be presented to me at the Maypole that evening.
10b. That in the event of me falling in, a pint of bitter / lager presented to each competitor at the Maypole that evening.
10c. That in the event of a competitor causing me to fall in, the competitor present a pint of bitter / lager to each other competitor at the Maypole that evening.
11. That the winner be required to attempt to swap his blades over before collecting the prize.
12a. That any competitor wishing to do so may attempt to swap their blades over, with the best attempt or fastest successful attempt qualifying for a pint of bitter / lager from me at the Maypole that evening.
12b. That competitors in this sub-event be exempt from rule 10 for the duration of their attempt.
13a. That in the event of an American or Frenchman winning, this regatta cease to be held.
13b. That in the event of a coxswain winning, I go out in a 4+ ten times before being allowed out in a real boat again.
14. That Eton Boy wear a red sunhat whilst competing.
15. That any President of a University club who loses to a woman, be required to repeat the course wearing nothing but gold socks and other clothes (if any) at the sole discretion of his adversary.
16. That any of the above rules may be amended or disregarded without notice at the sole discretion of RTT.
RTT
Griffith Elder Office
April 16th, 2003
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