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LARD by Remigo Ergo Edo - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 5:12pm
The Mich Term Lard Competition is starting to get quite interesting now. With just over two weeks left before the end of term it's anyone's guess as to who will actually walk away with the trophy.
This term there will hopefully be quite a few sub-categories, each of which is elegible for a prize of some kind: Lard King, Lard Queen, Lardiest Cox, Novice Lard King, and Novice Lard Queen, plus anything else I decide to give a prize for.

To be elegible for a prize, all you have to do is keep eating lard and make sure you attend the end-of-term dinner. For those of you to whom this all seems a bit strange, this is how it works :
Each item you buy from the Lard Cupboard in the Boathouse has a LARD rating which is related in some way to its fat content, so if you're trying to catch up, it's time to ditch the Bottled Water and start eating Flapjacks instead. :-))

The top fives (alphabetically) for the five categories as of last week are:

Men : Byrne, Davies, Holland, Ingram, Mycroft.
Women : Dennis, Hadrill-Barratt, Lee(Jenny), Russell, Sampson.
Coxes : Francis, Minch Dixon, Nanayakkara, Powell, Wolf.
Novice Men : Dewbery, Hill, Nicholson, Taylor(Chris), Wong.
Novice Women : Gutteridge, Michlig, Munro, Schaefer, Standley.
by 13.1% - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 7:19pm
Remigo Ergo Edo said: Men : Byrne, Davies, Holland, Ingram, Mycroft.
Hmm, maybe this explains why my body fat percentage has gone up 2%.
by Andy - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 7:54pm
Hmm, I find it a bit strange that I'm in the top five for novices yet not as a cox. Are the coxes in our boatclub really so fat...?
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 9:41pm
Andy said: Hmm, I find it a bit strange that I'm in the top five for novices yet not as a cox. Are the coxes in our boatclub really so fat...?
I've only counted people for one category each. I've tried to pick the most appropriate category for each person. For you and Rachel, I've counted you as novice rowers rather than coxes. Dave MD on the other hand has hardly rowed all term, so I'm counting him as a cox.
And yes, some of the coxes on that list are LARDier than you.
by Not just salad for me - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 10:37pm
I sincerely hope there wil be some sort of prize for the traditional Lard winner (most items). I think I am probably on double anyone else for that. Problem is that there are nil grams of fat in Lucozade, and less than one in the flavoured milks.
by dw229 - Wed 19th Nov 2003, 11:18pm
Chris's lard tactics, learnt in the mid-90s, come a-cropper... :)
by Diet Coke Drinker - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 8:40am
Give up Salad-boy I tried getting the prize reinstated when they took it out and went for the diluted fat measure. They never would reinstate the original and best! If only I had drank real coke (not diet) then....
by Simon - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 9:20am
I can see this is going to end up like boxing where they have the WBO, WBC, IBC etc - i.e. there's going to be several different people walking round proclaiming themselves heavyweight champion of the Lard cupboard and the sport of Lard will lose credibility as a result. Would make for an interesting "reunion" bout though.
by 5-times Lard King - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 9:42am
A straightforward count of most items was indeed the original metric, and I was happy to win on that basis. However, drinks are hardly in the spirit of the sport (and neither are any remotely healthy food items), and so I would always endeavour to have more chocolate bars than anyone else had total items. I thoroughly approve of counting on a "grams of fat" basis. My one concern is the proliferation of so many categories - we need to protect the primacy of the overall King/Queen.
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 9:48am
The overall winner still gets the trophy and gets their name engravred on it. The other prizes are smaller in nature and designed to encourage competition outside the top end of the men's squad. There may be a prize for most items, depends if I can be bothered to calculate total items or not.
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 11:03am
Men : Byrne, Davies, Holland, Ingram, Mycroft.
Women : Dennis, Hadrill-Barratt, Lee(Jenny), Russell, Sampson.
Coxes : Francis, Minch Dixon, Nanayakkara, Powell, Wolf.
Novice Men : Dewbery, Hill, Nicholson, Taylor(Chris), Wong.
Novice Women : Gutteridge, Michlig, Munro, Schaefer, Standley.
Have just updated the standings ...

The women's competitions (both senior and novice) haven't changed, but the others each have a new entry. Still arranged alphabetically, the leaders are :

Men : Byrne, Coker, Davies, Holland, Ingram.
Women : Dennis, Hadrill-Barratt, Lee(Jenny), Russell, Sampson.
Coxes : Francis, Lee(Alex), Minch Dixon, Powell, Wolf.
Novice Men : Dewbery, Funcasta, Hill, Nicholson, Taylor(Chris).
Novice Women : Gutteridge, Michlig, Munro, Schaefer, Standley.
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 11:12am
Remigo Ergo Edo said: ... There may be a prize for most items, depends if I can be bothered to calculate total items or not.
And with this method, Ingers isn't actually winning.
Top 5 are Byrne, Cokers, Gaypers, Ingers, Boy(E)
by 3(ish)-times Lard King - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 11:12am
5-times Lard King said: A straightforward count of most items was indeed the original metric, and I was happy to win on that basis. However, drinks are hardly in the spirit of the sport (and neither are any remotely healthy food items), and so I would always endeavour to have more chocolate bars than anyone else had total items. I thoroughly approve of counting on a "grams of fat" basis. My one concern is the proliferation of so many categories - we need to protect the primacy of the overall King/Queen.
It's true, I would never have won the trophy were it not for Lucozade counting... which in hindsight is surely cheating.
by acl - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 11:17am
Can we weight-adjust the coxes' lard consumption? Surely grammes of lard consumed per kilo of cox is a more appropriate measure in this case?
by Mike - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 11:37am
With such a comprehensive coverage of how much lard is being consumed, can Matt set up some sort of fantasy lard league for next term? Each person can have a transfer value based on this term's consumption, and points can be awarded for each item eaten.

I believe this was proposed many years ago and even made it into the hallowed pages of Travisty, but it never really got off the ground.
by Simon - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 12:07pm
Mike said: some sort of fantasy lard league for next term? Each person can have a transfer value based on this term's consumption, and points can be awarded for each item eaten.
Although there's massive potential for inside knowledge - e.g.
a) I eat nothing this term
b) I buy myself in Fantasy Lard League
c) I walk into the Lard cupboard next term, buy it all and take it back for my room for consumption over the next 6 months.

You can tell I work in the City, can't you?
by Eton Boy - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 12:13pm
Remigo Ergo Edo said: And with this method, Ingers isn't actually winning.
Top 5 are Byrne, Cokers, Gaypers, Ingers, Boy(E)
Time for a last minute push on the Refreshers, then...
by Mike - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 12:50pm
Simon described: an evil plan for cheating at fantasy lard league
That is true. But if someone were to do such a thing (assuming they paid the JT in advance), it would surely result in a much greater turnover and healthier lard cupboard economy, and so would be a good thing for lard consumers, even if the fantasy lard league were shot to pieces in one fell swoop. In a similar vein, I'm sure BumpsDAQ didn't turn out exactly as the organisers expected, but it was still a fun game to play...
by We want salad in the Lard Cupboard - Thu 20th Nov 2003, 10:04pm
Remigo Ergo Edo said: And with this method, Ingers isn't actually winning.
Really? I think I'm on about 200 items already
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Fri 21st Nov 2003, 10:40am
We want salad in the Lard Cupboard said: Really? I think I'm on about 200 items already
I don't
by The Shopkeeper - Sun 23rd Nov 2003, 6:08pm
I'm off to the Lard shop tomorrow morning to stock up for the rest of term. If you have any last-minute requests for items, be sure to enter them at the back of the Red LARD book at the boathouse in the "Requests" section before 11am tomorrow morning.
by Becca - Sun 23rd Nov 2003, 6:38pm
Cadburys Creme Eggs please!

Random fact of the day: Did you know, if you laid all the eggs made on the Creme Egg plant end to end, they would stretch all the way from the Bournville factory in Birmingham UK to Sydney in Australia - that's 12,000 miles....
by Harrassed Shopkeeper - Sun 23rd Nov 2003, 6:40pm
Becca said: Cadburys Creme Eggs please!
You'll have to wait until next term for that; I don't think they start selling them until after Christmas. But I'll have a look just in case.
by battery hen - Sun 23rd Nov 2003, 10:43pm
Becca said: Cadburys Creme Eggs please!

Random fact of the day: Did you know, if you laid all the eggs made on the Creme Egg plant end to end....
...your bum would be quite sore
by In The Red - Mon 24th Nov 2003, 5:48pm
Have added more Lucozade and Water, restocked a few other items and added a few new entries. Apologies about the lack of Jelly Babies, but I couldn't find any this time. And it's not the Creme Egg season yet.
by Remigo Ergo Edo - Thu 27th Nov 2003, 5:41pm
Remigo Ergo Edo said:

Men : Byrne, Coker, Davies, Holland, Ingram.
Women : Dennis, Hadrill-Barratt, Lee(J), Russell, Sampson.
Coxes : Francis, Lee(A), Minch Dixon, Powell, Wolf.
Novice Men : Dewbery, Funcasta, Hill, Nicholson, Taylor(C).
Novice Women : Gutteridge, Michlig, Munro, Schaefer, Standley.
Total Items : Byrne, Cokers, Gaypers, Ingers, Boy(E).
New LARD standings have now been calculated. They're all the same except for Senior Men and Coxes. This will be the last update before the end of term. Competition closes after the end of Fairbairns on Friday afternoon, whenever I decide to leave to go back to college.

Alphabetically by Surname, as before, the new top fives are ...

Men : Byrne, Coker, Davies, Holland, Koryczan.
Coxes : Fisher(AHL), Francis, Lee(A), Minch Dixon, Wolf .
by way off the lard pace - Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 2:33pm
surely you only gain lard status if you're eating for your FaT? There's one "resting" cox and one CUW cox in that lot...
by AHLF - Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 11:30pm
Surely Miss Cochrane is not doubting the commitment of the cox of the "Low Commitment Fairbairn VIII"...

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