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The Club's Results

May Bumps 2006

3rd men's VIII

Coxed by: Emma Salgård Cunha

Rowed over
The crew were in good spirits on the way down, with two beefy starts and a paddling speed which left Pembroke II for dust (good as they were starting ahead of us). LMBC III, two ahead, were reportedly okay and Downing III behind us looked terrible.

A fairly mediocre start with quite a bit of ripping was disappointing, but we quickly settled into a very powerful, long rhythm that would have impressed Pembroke II if they'd be watching. Unfortunately they missed it as they were too busy getting whistles before we'd even strode down. Our usual plan almost held distance with their Bumps pushes, which bodes well: Hopefully LMBC III really are THAT bad.

Of course, our race was just beginning. Miss. Leadbetter neatly steered us round LMBC/Pem and then St.Eds/Christs who were on First Post. This meant Magdalene II were hopefully flailing around somewhere in Plough Reach, just waiting to be overbumped. With this thought we almost took our rate up, and joyfully headed around Grassy.

Disaster! Magdelene II overbumped Clare II! Taking time out from watching Brian's head, I asked Catherine who we should push for now. A sad shake of her head told me all I needed to know (NB: I don't NEED to know any maths).

In hindsight, the quadruple overbump on Girton II would have been eminently possible if we'd ever trained for more than a two minute race. And we'd rowed as a crew. And they'd crabbed. Lots of times. It will be interesting to see how Clare II do over the rest of the week, and of course Magd have put themselves in front of St. Eds, which may prove problematic.

Fitz II behind us made a laughable attempt to overbump us; their cox certainly got very excited. To give them their due, we only stopped twice on the reach - footplate failures, uncertainty of the finish point, and just plain tiredness after a longer piece than some of us had managed in a year - and they must have been within distance before we took it up for the finish.

Bring on LMBC III and the third boat headship, I say. (Dan)
By freak coincidence the entire crew ran out of suntan lotion with only the back of their necks left to cover. Luckily we are all row-fashion gods (and goddess) and we had all brought baseball caps. A simple 180 spin of the brit-brim-forward style and we were safe from those harmful rays.

Interestingly it seems the 6 man has the b(r)e(a)st pectoral definition, perhaps even pushing for a B cup. Others in the crew are not far behind though and so some form of official measurement is called for before the week is out. If anyone would like to volounteer to be the independent arbiter email djtn2.

In other news we had a solid row over and are looking to bump a Maggie crew on Thursday. (Dan Newton)
Basically, it turns out that we're just much slower than we would have liked... I guess that's what happens if you only have 'exactly 10' outing. Fortunately, our row today was incomparably better than yesterday's (while still leaving plenty to be desired!), and our practice burst on the reach is hopefully an indication that by the end of the week we might be capable of a half-decent turn of speed.

In the meantime, we're chuffed about getting the 3rd VIII headship and looking forward to bumping Clare II tomorrow to maintain a pleasing symmetry with the Lents.

Most importantly, my fitness and tan are improving on a daily basis. (BJ)
The sun was shining, our hats were backwards, the water was calm... but our minds were elsewhere: We were petrified of another rowover.

A major rethink of our race plan (pull really hard. No, no; REALLY hard) and a complete overhaul of our start (maintain for 20 rather than 15) gave us the false hope we needed and again we approached the start in high spirits.

The start was a lot better, and I was quite enjoying myself. We got within a length of LMBC III after 30 seconds and a minute more saw us within half a length. We had to swerve around some bumped out crews ahead and didn't deal well with the cornering. The boat just would not sit - I can't believe I'm saying that given our crew, and that we're in a novice shell. Still! When the canvas whistle came we practially doubled our boat speed (and sat it past the cameraman, which was a nice touch).

The scum hung on for an admirably long time, but we got there. Yay, a headship at last!

PS We did a burst at 36 on the way back that was definitely our best rowing yet. Come Saturday we'll be ready to race! (Dan)
It seems a culture of humourous and silly reports with little factual basis has become the norm for M3. Excellent.

This was the most erotic bump I can remember. Two giant phallic structures - one red, one blue and gold. The blue and gold approached the back end of the red and ever so gently rubbed up and down the helpless side of the red until their cox gave in.

In other news this was Rupert's first ever headship. (Dan Newton)
Bumped Clare II
Bumped. Big deal.

In other news... Thunderbirds are coming................. (Dan Newton)
Bumped Christ's II
Bumps: 3
Blades: no

Thunderbirds performances: 4
Thunderblades: YES!!!

I think that tells you all you need to know about this crew. (BJ)

1. Cheery Dan
2. Brian is somewhat wo...
3. Closing in through t...

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