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Graham and Simon's Joke Fest by Simon - Thu 20th Dec 2001, 3:21pm
Have just opened a load of Christmas crackers.

Graham: Your starter for ten... (and remember, I must have the answer on my card):

"What did the cavemen say when they saw their first flying reptile?"
by Bustard tart - Thu 20th Dec 2001, 3:53pm
"What did the cavemen say when they saw their first flying reptile?"
"Wow - our time machine works!"
???
by Simon - Thu 20th Dec 2001, 4:03pm
Bustard tart said: "Wow - our time machine works!"
Sorry, correct answer is:
"Watch that dino soar."

Next:
Which moves faster, heat or cold?
The 30 most recent of the 376 remaining posts in this thread are shown below
Expand to show all 379 posts
by How do snails keep their shells shiny? - Fri 28th Dec 2007, 12:16pm
what has three wheels and travels underwater at 60mph?
A motorpike with sidecarp?
by What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts - Sat 29th Dec 2007, 4:05pm
How do snails keep their shells shiny?
Snail Varnish
by Mike Newell - Sat 29th Dec 2007, 5:41pm
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
A taxi.
by How did the human cannonbal lose his job? - Sun 30th Dec 2007, 11:11am
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette
by What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? - Mon 31st Dec 2007, 3:13pm
How did the human cannonbal lose his job?
He was fired.
by On which side do chickens have the most feathers? - Tue 1st Jan 2008, 9:59am
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam!
by What does "DNA" stand for? - Wed 2nd Jan 2008, 4:40pm
The outside?
by Why do black sheep eat less than white sheep? - Fri 4th Jan 2008, 12:38pm
What does "DNA" stand for?
National Dyslexic Association
by Did you hear about the ill Christmas tree? - Fri 4th Jan 2008, 2:03pm
because there are fewer of them!
by Simon - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 8:15am
Did you hear about the ill Christmas tree? said: because there are fewer of them!
After a year, I still can't work out the punchline to this...
Which is a shame, because I want to ask what the hat said to the scarf.
by What kind of bee produces milk? - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 9:49am
Perhaps it had tinsellitis?
by You wrap things up and I'll go on a head? - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 10:53am
...the hat said to the scarf.
Can't crack the bee one yet, but there's something oddly charming about the word "bumbletit"
by Mark - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 11:06am
"What did the cavemen say when they saw their first flying reptile?"
Is it a bird...is it a plane...?
by Mark - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 11:07am
Oh I'm sorry, I seem to be replying to the 2001 post. I'm completely out there. Let's try again, this time at the recent end of the post...
by Mark - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 11:11am
You wrap things up and I'll go on a head? said: Can't crack the bee one yet, but there's something oddly charming about the word "bumbletit"
Graham I think you've got it! Just go on from there: I was thinking "boo-bees"
by What do you call a man in a cemetery wearing two raincoats? - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 2:49pm
..."boo-bees"
...is the right answer.
by mjb - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 6:17pm
What do you call a man in a cemetery wearing two raincoats?
I'm wondering if the answer to this is "Max Bygraves"
by Neil T - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 8:03pm
mjb said: I'm wondering if the answer to this is "Max Bygraves"
Correct. But what about a woman juggling bottles of lager?
by Mark - Fri 12th Dec 2008, 9:12pm
But what about a woman juggling bottles of lager?
George Best's personal entertainer?
by Simon - Sat 13th Dec 2008, 7:52am
what about a woman juggling bottles of lager?
Beatrix.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
by What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? - Sat 13th Dec 2008, 9:24am
What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
The Milky-Bar Kid
by Christian - Sun 14th Dec 2008, 3:42pm
Chicken Chow-grain?

What did the pair of crisps say when they bumped into a runner?
by Mark - Sun 14th Dec 2008, 10:47pm
Christian said: Chicken Chow-grain?

What did the pair of crisps say when they bumped into a runner?
Chicken Chow-grain?!?!

I'm not sure if that is (and it could well be) a really really bad X-mas cracker joke, or perhaps a really bad Christian Mertes attempt at the answer to a joke...
by Simon - Sun 14th Dec 2008, 11:22pm
There's no such thing as a bad attempt to answer a joke. Indeed, it's the whole point of this thread.

This thread traces its origins back to the 2nd May VIII 1999. I sat in front of Graham (we also lived on the same staircase, got mistaken for each other by novices, and I would take over from him as Magpiety that summer). Mike Goodson was in front of me, so it was a bit of a comedy line up in the bows; in front of Mike, stern four were, well, stern.

It was a warm summer, and I got into the habit of eating a lolly as I cycled to the BH for evening outings. I would then tell Graham the joke as we got into the boat. He would invariably get the answer instantly, before we even pushed off.

Until the day that the question was "What type of pie can fly?".

Graham's instant reply was "Jellycopter." Then, mentally blocked by a diversion onto puddings rather than pies, he struggled. For once I felt smug - finally a joke to which he didn't know the answer. During the warm up, other alternatives were offered; all were wrong.

By now we were heading for the lock to get over before women's hour started, and were motoring down the reach. I assume that I've won. Suddenly, without warning, I hear a muttered "Bustard Tart?" from behind me.

Tragically, it was also the wrong answer - surprising really, as I am sure all four year olds have heard of the Bustard and it would be the ideal punchline for a Mini Milk. Meanwhile I learnt that it's hard to row from Ditton to the lock while giggling.
by Sorry, we're only Walkers? - Mon 15th Dec 2008, 9:26am
What happened to the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
by t' bent Lolita - Mon 15th Dec 2008, 11:20am
Sorry, we're only Walkers? said: What happened to the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
Did he sell his soul to Santa?
by Magpie? - Mon 15th Dec 2008, 11:36am
t' bent Lolita said: Did he sell his soul to Santa?
I also heard he dialled 666 to report the emergency.
by Jij - Mon 15th Dec 2008, 11:48am
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
I reckon the answer to this is a Brick-Layer. Ah I've been to too many Christmas parties already!
by Mark - Mon 15th Dec 2008, 2:03pm
Sorry, we're only Walkers? said: What happened to the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
Did he get a Santa-nic Bible for Christmas?
by Jon - Wed 17th Dec 2008, 12:55am
How did the homeopath attempt suicide?

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