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Cardinal's Regatta, Lent Term 2004

Results > Lent Term 2004 > Cardinal's Regatta - reports | crews | both

"a regatta unlike any other..."
Thu 11th March

We rock, big time!

A fantastic day saw the FaT caterpillar crew win their first ever event! Formed barely a few days ago this crew show great promise, racing with a poise and finesse rarely seen in caterpillar crews these days.

We also had plenty of time to practise crew 'keeping warm' hugs between rounds - an essential part of any race preparation they were much more enjoyable, for me at least, in this mixed crew than in the Men's Lent 2nd VIII.

n.b we had Jono Airey at 5 (Jesus ejector no7 man from lent bumps) and Dan Reynolds at 3(Downing). Also subbed in during the day were a very tall extremely pleasant Jesus girl at 2 and a Selwyn cox with whiskers and bunny ears. Thanks to all who helped out.

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FaT CATERPILLAR, Fancy Dress

Raced 4 rounds: convincing in the final

1st round
miles an' miles

We got a tiny eeny weeny headstart - mainly due to our aesthetic qualities (and the costume too) - but extended this to the finish as we wiped the floor with a woeful opposition. The caterpillar costume held up only just and the momentary jubilation at the win was quickly gone as we sought to repair the inevitable damage that resulted from the fearsome row. We then waited....and waited......and waited.....'til the next round. (Dan Newton)

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2nd round
not a problem this one

You think cruise is a generic term for a trip across great oceans on a purpose built boat with a swimming pool, tennis court and its own casino????? WRONG! Cruise is actually what we did in this round. With our technique more assured (our time rowing together was doubled by the time we finished this race!) and the relentless power coming from the ladies in the crew (the lads just there to add a bit of glamour to an otherwise dull occasion really) we strolled to victory. How did the other crew feel to have been beaten by a caterpillar??? We shall never know cos we were that far away by the end that they would not have been able to hear us if we had shouted. (The picky among the crew will now point out that there was overlap at the finish, but this is merely a technicality that would have marred my match report and so i declined to mention it) (Dan Newton)

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Semi finals

THE BIG ONE!!! THE CLASH OF THE TITANS!!! (no pun intended - their boat had a different name) THE MAIN ATTRACTION!!! A Keys boat (who are they anyway) against us FaTties, it was like a headship battle. The big race nerves started to kick in around the start line as we stripped down to race kit - this is the best part of the race when in a mixed crew. From a strong start we found the pirate crew (what kind of a lame costume idea is that?!) catching steadily. The caterpillar held on and held on and held on so that it was a dead heat at the finish line. No wait! It was a dead heat until the marshalls checked with the girl on the finish line; checked to see whether we had won by 2 or 3 feet. They appreciated their toblerone obviously and so the headship crew were gone and the final beckoned. Sweet. (Dan Newton)

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Final
convincing

We raced from the middle of the course, in opposite directions, to the ends then had to spin and race back to the middle. First past the middle post won it all. What a cool race plan! After a practise spin or two we marshalled down to face off against a hybrid Emma/CCAT crew. You could see the fear in their eyes and smell it in the air. They had never raced a giant green caterpillar before, they did not know what to expect from such a creature, they had no experience of such a race, they were frightened of the unknown. We capitalised on this fear. A quick row there and back was accentuated by a fabulous 'racing spin'. Ever seen James Bond park his car by screeching round in a big arc from high speed? Imagine that but in green and with oars. A trophy and WINE (X6) were presented to a victorious and unbelievably sexy FaT hybrid caterpillar crew. Suggest this crew rows in the May Bumps? In place of the 1st VIII? I think it would work. (Dan Newton)

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							1. So quick the camera(... 2. Its not antiphase, i... 3. do we look good or d... [more...]

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<h4>Relevant info on crew members as evolved into a pre-race email</h4>Subject: Caterpillar Crew.... Date: 10 Mar 2004 15:47:11 +0000 Privileged Caterpillars, Faced with an acute work crisis and a pending sentence to introduce myself to the Dean, I will make this short. However, this is not to underestimate the historical and metaphysical importance of what we are about to do: LAUNCH THE ALREADY LEGENDARY 2004 CARDINALS CATERPILLAR CREW ONTO THE WORLD OF ROWING!!! We (Zoe and myself) have assembled an VIII of internationally distinguished rowers around the only cox that steers her boat without use of rudder, but by mere weight of breasts alone! To all who do not yet know her, this is RACHEL WOOLF. Then CLAIRE STANLEY, a dignified already-bufty (having noviced last term, as part of the stunning and beguilingly successful 1st Novice VIII) who has been ordered to forget anything she still knows about rowing in order to ensure caterpillar style of true world class standard. Blessed be the day that sent us two members of the crew, which, misleadingly known as 'Monarchs of the Cam', did most of their lent training on land, having trashed the beautiful Black Prince 2 by leaving it untied on top of a trailer. DAN NEWTON and PHIL HORLER, we salute you. A further highlight manifests itself in DAN REYNOLDS, a weary-of-life diver who is to be introduced as the Phantom Menace, being a member of a boatclub of doubtful reputation (in FaT circles)... the 2nd Downing Women he coached, however, did not blade like ours, so this should make up for the fact that we have... AILANORE HARPER and ZOE MICHLIG in our midst. A pentathlete-slash-varsity fencer and a scuba-slash-sky diver (bring on the recklessnes) who were too lazy to ever race further than the motorway bridge in bumps. This is the attitute we need! Not to forget our messiah, our guru, nay, our God... JONO AIREY. The ejector-crab-man-from-jesus. Need I say more? Which leaves me with myself. PIA SCHAEFER, an economist on the path to self-destruction. Now, for organisation... please meet ATBH (FaT boathouse that is) no later than 1000 hours tomorrow. Titan awaits being cross-dressed as a caterpillar and that should take a while. Please try to WEAR SOMETHING GREEN (alternatively any army-style colours) and avoid colours offensive to FaT members. Actually, don't worry about it, since Downing have proven to be a neglegible threat and I don't guess any of our 'alien participants' would choose to wear Caius, Maggie or Pembroke (gollum, gollum) kit. The race draw is attached. Finally, drink as much alcohol as you can, refrain from eating pasta or maltloaf, do not sleep more than the absolute minimum necessary and forget anything you ever learned about rowing in time! Victory awaits us, xxx pia<div align="right"><a href="#top">^ top</a></div><hr>

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