First and Third Trinity Boat Club
Log In

Club Committee

2008-2009 Manifestos

James Strawson for FaT Webmaster 2008

Strawson

NB: rowphoto.co.uk is a website I was able to access with my advanced interweb skillz (unlike you n00bs7… u got pwned).

Reasons to vote for me:

I will vote for you too.

Reasons not to vote for my opponents:

My 2k is much quicker than RoN’s.
RoN is a paedo. (There’s no smoke without fire. Except smoke machines. Which in this case would be some sort of kiddy fiddling machine. That sick bastard.)

Proposed and Seconded by:


Speech transcript

It was as I sat in my alcoholic, abusive uncle's caravan, parked up at the M11 services, somewhere east of Leicester, I knew that the internet would be my eventual salvation. But, it was only after watching the closing credits of Spiderman 2, tucking into a warm "Little Chef" burger, that I realised this aspiration would be best realised in partnership with the 1st/3rd Trinity Boat Club.

I watched Spiderman 2 for the first time on my laptop, via. The marvellous medium of the internet, and the relaxed copyright laws of eastern nations. As I counted the arms on Dr. Octopus to ensure anatomical accuracy, I realised that like Peter Parker, by day I fantasise about Kirsten Dunst, but by night I crawl the web, looking for pictures of Kirsten Dunst.

In fact, I use the internet for a variety of purposes. You may have heard RoN bragging about his formidable knowledge of the internet, even drunkenly claiming to have been a cameraman on the (quite shit) "Pimp my Erg" YouTube video. However, I am expert at both "talkrowing" and the Cambridge rowing message-boards, being an avid contributor on posts as philosophical and probing as "Is Toby Garnett shit?" I bought some test-tubes, distilled his seed, and the answer is "11". Toby Garnett is "11" shit. Sometimes I google-image search "rowing". Sometimes I use Yahoo. But never AskJeeves. Fuck you Jeeves. You can't row for shit.

In my early, naïve days, I thought that the internet was only good for words like "teen" and "celebrity upskirt", but with age, and maturity (my websearches are very, very mature), I have realised that the old people sometimes do it best. For this reason, I will be relying heavily on the advice of Bryn Garrod - this year's webmaster, who I think has sweet, sweet catches.

In closing, the web has made my deepest fantasies a reality. Now I want to do the same for Trinity rowing.


Facebook Instagram Youtube LinkedIn
If you have any comments or suggestions please email the webmaster. Click here to switch between designs. If you log in as a First and Third member, you can set a preference for a color scheme on your profile.