The Club's Results

A glass of wine while cleaning the boat house and two pints at the Curry King had James eating with his hands by the end of the meal. Despite this unimpressive pre-race warmup, and after an extended period of nodding off and prancing about in lycra, James nevertheless managed a respectable split even though he later admitted to "feeling sick if I rated above 24". Well done, James, on beating the KSS by 45s and securing the drunken 2k championship. (Dami)

Despite losing to a drunken Texan, Amelia can be said to have claimed the moral high ground in this race. Throwing down the gauntlet after a stint of hearty drinking in the Curry King, she gave James a run for his money, despite being forced to race in an all-in-one she had obviously just purloined from the Drying Cupboard. Good effort Amelia, but next time make sure you've *properly* drunk James under the table before attempting to out-erg him. (Dami)