General Items of Interest

Earl for TCSU Vice President
     The Manifesto, Early Lent Term 2001

which reads:

Voting for someone else?

You don't wanna do that.

John W. Earl

John Earl entered Trinity College in 1993 to read Tuna Studies. He quickly gave this up for a degree in Doing Rowing Training All The Time, and ever since has been the champion of doing rowing training all the time.

John is committed to providing a better college for everyone - a college where all hall meals will contain at least one tuna-themed component; a college where the latest ergos are installed in the computer centre so you can train and play Dungeons & Dragons on the internet at the same time. A college where you really don't wanna do that.

If John is elected to the post of TCSU vice president, he pledges to not only double the amount of training he does, but make the Trinity College uniform a blue and yellow all-in-one, to be worn 24 hours a day. This will be compulsory, as will the pseudo-bowl cuts and American accents. Role-playing scholarships will be awarded to the people who do the best impressions of John in the yearly Do An Impression Of John competition, which will replace the May Ball.

Women's issues are also important to John. While he realises that they are infinitely inferior to men in that they can't row as fast, he is willing to make certain concessions, and if he is elected then he will do his best to make sure the women of Trinity get nothing but the finest blue and yellow yashmaks. He cares about other issues too, probably. They're very important. Not as important as rowing though. Or tuna.

Finally, it is John's hope that a new degree, exclusive to Trinity College, will be introduced and made available to students in all years. The six-year course in Not Realising How Strange You Are will be taught by none other than John W. Earl, and has attracted sponsorship from the world-famous John West^TM Seafood.

OK. Cool.

~~~John Earl~~~

He's not as weird once you get to know him.